What The Wild Things Do
by Pie Shaped Cumulus
Summary: "Hey I wonder if there're bugs in Hueco Mundo..." "Jesus Christ." "If there are, are they tiny hollow bugs?" "..." Random one-shot. Rated for language. Grimm&Szayel 'cause they have the most face to face human contact...I guess.


AN:

This is pretty random, but Hueco Mundo just looks soooo boring. So I though Hey I wonder what the Arrancar do in between fights.

Weeeeel, this is _supposed _to be funny, but I'm not all that good at writing _this _kind of humor so...yeeeeeah.

Hope you like XDDD

Discalimer: I actually bought Bleach the other day so...I kid, I kid I own nothing. I swear.

This is set sometime in between arrancar vs. shinigami battles

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><p>Grimmjow literally didn't have the words to express how bored he was.<p>

No seriously, the only thing that would come out of his mouth every other minute or so was a dull 'I'm so bored' followed by a chorus of equally monotonous 'I know's as he and a few of the other Espada lounged in one of the many large, white rooms.

The blandness of the room just seemed to add to how boring everything seemed.

They were bored to the point were sparring didn't even cut it, and they had killed everything within a three hundred mile radius.

Grimmjow had _made his bed _that morning, and (get this) the he unmade it and _made it again_ just to have something to do. This was how boring it was. So with nothing to do the inevitable starting of small talk started.

...Really small talk.

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><p>.<p>

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"Soooooo...What's everyone's favorite color?"

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Grimmjow just snorted. Ulquiorra blinked. Szayel muttered something about Nnoi-chan finally flipping his lid which was followed by an indignant 'Hey! Fuck you Pinky!'. Hallibel left immediately...apparently she's not one for small talk.

"Fuck you guys, I was just askin'!" Nnoitora huffed and slouched a little more in his seat.

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"I prefer navy blue." everyone turned to see it was Ulquiorra that had spoken there was a series of 'Oh's and 'Hn's before Szayel came out with a conceited:

"Red's better."

"Cerulean." was Grimmjow's simple reply.

Starrk's quiet 'Brown' earned him a smack on the back of his head, and everyone the pleasure of listening to a shrill:

"Ew, green's way better!" From lily.

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><p>.<p>

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A lone snort caught everyone''s attention. They turned to see Szayel staring contemptuously at Grimmjow.

"What?" He snapped.

"Nothing...it's just, cerulean? Really?"

"Fuck you, Shit face!" Grimmjow snarled.

"I think the Big Blue Kitty's a little too caught up in his hair~!"

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><p>Everyone soon found themselves shuffling to a different room. They didn't really want to sit in one with one of it's walls and half of the ceiling mysteriously missing...<p>

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><p>"What's yer favorite animal?"<p>

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Favorite word?"

"Insane."

Mentally unstable"

"Crazy."

"Retarded."

"Jesus fuck! You guys!" Nnoitora all but whined. "I'm just tryin' to find somethin' ta do!"

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><p>"Oh my God." Szayel Whined. "what have I done to deserve this?"<p>

"..."

"Ugh fine, but I rather burn in hell!"

"At least then you'd be doing _something_." Lily muttered.

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><p>"Why the fuck doesn't this place have bored games? Or, or just...<em>something?"<em>

"Bored games?"

"..."

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><p>.<p>

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"We could all fuck each other..." Nnoitora suggested.

"...Ew."

"Yeah, probably."

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"You guys hear that?" Grimmjow asked suddenly.

"What?" Everyone asked.

"That was my brain spontaneously combusting."

"Heh...That was so lame..."

"I know."

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><p>"I really hate horses." Grimmjow said.<p>

"Huh?"

"Horses."

"what about them?"

"I hate them."

"Oh."

"Yeah..."

"...huh."

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"Where'd Lilynette go?"

Starrk raised his hand and pointed towards the door. "She left when Nnoitora mentioned fucking."

Nnoitora snorted. "Oh."

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><p>"Is he dead?" Grimm and Nnoitora turned to see Szayel staring at Starrk.<p>

"Huh?" Grimmjow grunted, and Nnoitora just went back to his drooling. Probably doing some sort of mental masturbation.

"Starrk."

"Naw, he's sleeping."

"But he's not snoring...or moving."

Why would he move? He's asleep."

"No, I mean, when you sleep yer shoulders, and chest do that up and down thing."

"Oh, right...you mean breathing?"

"Yeah that..."

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><p>.<p>

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"Regurgitated is a funny word." Ulquiorra had fallen asleep somewhere along the way, and spoonhead was still drooling. It was comical really. So Grimmjow was stuck talking to Szayel.

"Heh...it is."

"Regurgitated."

"Reguuuurgitated~!

"Regargirated!"

"Regurmiflated!"

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"Oh my god."

"We're going insane."

"Yep."

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"I'd probably kill 'im."

Szayel glance over at grimmjow. "Who?"

"My therapist."

"...What if it was Aizen?"

"I'd commit suicide."

"He'd totally be one though."

"One what?"

"A therapist."

"Oh right...heh with his shit faced smile."

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><p>Szayel was lying on the floor on his back, squinting at the ceiling. Grimmjow had jammed his sword into the floor and was attempting to balance on the hilt.<p>

He was failing miserably.

The idiot would probably just end up breaking it in half.

Szayel rolled over onto his stomach.

"You think that's how he does it?"

"Who?"

"Starrk."

"Does what?"

"Can be so powerful."

"How?"

"How what?"

"Can he be so powerful!"

"Oh right. Maybe by sleeping all the time he stores up his energy, so when he has to fight he has massive amounts of excess energy at his disposal."

"That is an interesting theory." Szayel turned to see Ulquiorra standing on the hilt of his sword. Seemingly having accomplished what Grimmjow failed at miserably.

The guy sure knew how to rub it in. Him in his invisible smug face that you know is there, but can't actually see. Grimmjow was pissed (shocker).

"...Heh."

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><p>"If there's a god he's probably laughing his conceited ass off right now."<p>

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"Hey I wonder if there're bugs in Hueco Mundo..." Nnoitora said. Guess he finally stopped his mental masturbation.

"Jesus Christ." Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"If there are, are they tiny hollow bugs?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"That would be funny."

"what?"

"The tiny hollow bugs."

"I see now that Aizen only bases your rank on your strength." For once Grimm agreed with Szayel.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Isn't there a saying about that? Something about being stupid, but not opening your mouth and proving it?"

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"Oh! Hey, fuck you guys!"

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><p>AN: I apologize for any possible spellinggrammar mistakes there might be.

R&R


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